An Introduction to a Sandwich

Hello,

My name is Richard "Knuckles" Sandwich and I am hereby creating this blog in an effort to inform the world of my abstract and often bizarre opinions of people of interest such as celebrities, politicians, historical figures, etc.

This is meant to be taken quite seriously and should in fact affect the way you, the readers, live your lives from day to day in a very beautiful and profound way. I don't mean to toot my own corn but I am very influential. For instance, the cliche I just used is in fact my own interpretation of a classic that you may or may not have heard of. Please, feel free to use my greatly superior version whenever you see fit, because I know it will be hard to resist.

Anyway, let us without any further hesitation get down to brass max...



Today's person that is most likely to be given a rather tasteful silk flower arrangement from Kirkland's by Claire Danes of the day is:























Kurt Vonnegut



Today's person that is most likely to be sodomized by Seminole County Tax Collector Ray Valdes of the day is:























Dame Maggie Smith



Today's person that is most likely to become embroiled in a bitter land dispute with hostile militants in rural Venezuela of the day is:























A tie between Mixed Martial Artist and Prominent UFC Fighter Kimbo Slice and Bishop from Aliens



And finally...

Today's person that is most likely to touch poison oak while on a three day camping trip in the Ozark Mountains with 1980's British Pop group Dexy's Midnight Runners is:























Inventor of the Cotton Gin, Eli Whitney






Thank you everyone for reading and good night. Don't let the bed bugs fight,



Richard Sandwich